Free Your Mind

I have always been intrigued by the psychology behind personal growth and lasting change. Some people seem to be able to morph into entirely new beings with relative ease. What is their secret? Do they have some kind of tenacity gene that I’m lacking? Probably not.

I think for the most part it boils down to our perceptions about the changes we are implementing. We need to foster the belief that we really want to be doing what we have chosen to do. For example, if I tell myself “I’m not allowed to eat cake” I will probably feel deprived. However, if I tell myself “I’d rather have a delicious red apple instead of that piece of cake because I love and respect my body” then I will feel much better about my choice.

People don’t have behavioral issues so much as they have thinking issues. If we focus on thinking differently we will soon start behaving differently. All too often we put the cart before the horse trying to feel better by doing better, but really we need to be focused more on changing our minds than our actions. Let’s look at some common goals many people have trouble accomplishing and the limiting beliefs that accompany them.

• “I want to lose weight but exercise is boring.”
• “I’d like to work in a different field but I don’t think I’m qualified or smart enough.”
• “I want to be in a meaningful relationship but I feel I have nothing to offer.”

Of course we rarely tell ourselves the truth about why we don’t accomplish our goals. We shift the focus from internal beliefs to external forces. We tell ourselves there isn’t enough time to exercise, that all the good jobs in our area are already taken and that we don’t cross paths with people we’d like to date. It is only by confronting our limiting beliefs and acknowledging the lies we tell ourselves that we can begin to move forward in our goals.

What stumbling blocks have you encountered on your journey to becoming the person you want to be? Fear, laziness, addiction and hopelessness are among the many barriers that prevent us from reaching our full potential. Challenge yourself to explore the limiting beliefs and distorted perceptions that are keeping you stuck in old patterns. Think about behaviors you would like to change or a goal you would like to accomplish and then confront any lies you might be telling yourself about why you have not yet reached your goal. Replace the limiting belief with an alternative possibility -one that will help rather than hinder your progress. For example, focus on the high you feel when you have just finished exercising and tell yourself you can’t wait to feel that way again. You can choose to change your mind. By thinking in new ways we begin to feel differently about our situation and our behaviors will change accordingly.

In the words of En Vogue, “Free your mind and the rest will follow.”